So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
