dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
