why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
