Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
