yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
