He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
