Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
