I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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