He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
