Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
