Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just pynch a tree in the face
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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