he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
