The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
