So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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