I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
