It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
