Your mouth is God's brothel.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
