My room smells like vodka and shame
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
