all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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