Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
