You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
