One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
