and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
