Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
