Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
