she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
