if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
