you guys were way drunker than both of me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
