I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
