I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
