So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
