somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry about my life...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
