you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
