The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
