ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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