So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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