Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
