i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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