One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
