is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
