to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
