Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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