it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
