you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
