Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
