Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
