I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
