he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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