he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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