and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
