Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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